Myths about... male sexuality

Our consciousness (both public and individual) is arranged in such a way that it always contains some mythological representations, or, more simply, stereotypes. Of course, this applies not only to the field of sex: myths, unscientific ideas, even prejudices - everything that can be attributed to beliefs that are based on irrational certainty in the truth are accepted on faith without criticism.

For example, what is happening with the attitude towards people with HIV/AIDS: despite the huge educational work, an absolutely unscientific myth that they are dangerous and contagious has firmly entrenched in the public mind. It is curious that if you calmly talk to a person about this topic, it turns out that he knows what are the ways of transmitting this disease, that through conversations, handshakes, etc. AIDS is not transmitted. And this myth still sits in my head and forms a negative attitude towards HIV-infected people.

Why are there so many myths in the sexual sphere?

Because it belongs to one of the most important spheres of human life. Not only according to Freud, but also according to representatives of very many psychological schools, sex is one of the fundamental values of life. Moreover, sex here is understood not as specific actions leading to physiological satisfaction, but in a broader sense, starting from sublimated attempts to achieve attention and favor with representatives of the opposite sex.

Superman, who is he?

Let's start with the main myths, namely with the concept of "supermen". In ancient times, the manifestations of male sexuality were tied to certain cults, primarily the cult of fertility, the cult of strength. Many cultures have gone through a period of phallic cult in their development, when exaggerated images of the male member were worshiped as a symbol of power and fertility.

Thanks to the research of historians, ethnographers, psychologists, it was found that in ancient ideas, an erection was often not so much a symbol of sexual readiness as a symbol of power and dominance. It stretches like an invisible thread through many centuries, entering that part of our "I", which is called the unconscious.

Growing up, a person is looking for patterns that he must conform to. Any boy dreams of becoming a Schwarzenegger, but all people are different, with their own individual characteristics, and Schwarzenegger is practically the only one, thanks to natural data and a lot of work on his body.

It's a paradox, but only very recently have sexologists begun to recognize the fact that a man in sex is always more disturbing than a woman.

A woman is potentially, simply based on physiological characteristics, ready for sex. Another question is whether she will experience positive emotions and experience deep feelings. But she is physiologically always ready, she does not have such an organ that would determine her readiness for sex.

And men's readiness for sex depends not only on the state of health: age, hormones, blood vessels, the state of the prostate gland, etc. It still depends very much on the psyche: emotionality, feelings, partner's behavior, environment and many other psychosocial factors. But you want to live up to the myth that a “real” man is such a macho who is always ready, always able, he should always have a colossal erection.

The Dangerous Consequences of the Myth

You can say, well, God bless him, let this myth exist, you never know what prejudices do not happen. But no! There are myths that literally forge patients for us, sexologists, urologists and other specialists who go to cry about sexual problems.

The myth of the superman is extremely harmful because it can make a patient out of a healthy person, and in my practice I have seen many such cases. “You know, I had a woman, we met her, and when I began to try to enter into a closer relationship, she noticed that I had a weak erection, made fun of it ... the next time I tried, there was no erection at all... ".

And what is called psychogenic sexual dysfunction begins, that is, the man really has sexual problems, but they occurred precisely for the reason indicated above.

Why is this happening? Because he, as, unfortunately, she is, is deeply convinced that an erection should be instant, powerful, and if this does not happen, then he is simply inferior as a man.

This myth is very dangerous because,

• Firstly, it can destroy even a serious relationship.
• Secondly, a person's life is constantly becoming more emotionally complicated, becoming more intense, and anxious, insecure men multiply and multiply the ranks of our patients.

The size that determines the status

The second myth about the superman is the myth of the impressive size of the reproductive organ. As already mentioned, this idea is associated with ancient cults, in which the phallus was the personification of power, and not sexual desire.

In support of this, we can recall what gestures not very civilized people show each other on the streets (a blow with a hand on the bend of the elbow of the other hand) and where they are generally sent. Moreover, historians have discovered interesting things that fully confirm the above. The rock art reflected the peculiarity of the ancient consciousness: the more noble and powerful the husband was depicted, the larger was his reproductive organ. It lies deep in the block of our consciousness - a banal, gross thing - that in this business, the more the better.

Another “painting” works for this complex, not rock, but very modern - these are hard erotic and porn films. Probably, there is not a single adult now who would not watch them at least once. But at the same time, many do not understand that the specificity of these films is such that actors with impressive sizes are specially sought out for entertainment. This is necessary for the demonstration, since the whole point of such films comes down to the contact of the genitals.

It is probably clear that when they shoot an action movie about "tough guys", then Smoktunovsky does not fit in here. The average viewer does not take into account that there are laws of the genre, he simply identifies himself with porn stars, compares and begins to think: “Well, what kind of a man am I, I’m so-so, but here they are real men.”

American sexologists Masters and Johnson conducted a special series of experiments to understand whether it is significant in sex to satisfy a woman or not. And they got complete insignificance when it comes to the usual size.

And ordinary size is the same as height: a man 170 cm tall is shorter than a man 175 cm tall, they are both shorter than a man with a height of meter eighty, but neither of them is either a dwarf or a giant.

I, like other sexologists, had a lot of patients, the essence of whose experiences was reduced to this stupid children's complex, that “I have this detail a little less than I see others somewhere in the saunas…”.

The myth of poor Onan

And finally, the third of the main myths that we will consider today as part of the myth of the superman is the myth of the dangers of masturbation. It would seem that quite a long time ago, already for 20-30 years, everywhere, and in popular literature, including, it is written that teenage masturbation and masturbation of the period of forced lack of sexual activity (as happens with polar explorers, military personnel, prisoners) is completely a normal occurrence.

The myth about the inadmissibility of masturbation comes from ancient times, when the seed was really deified, endowed with sacred power: they masturbated (as well as copulated) on plowed fields to improve fertility. But this, perhaps, was the only permitted type of masturbation. Therefore, in the Old Testament, the shepherd Onan, who senselessly squandered the divine seed ("... shed the seed on the ground"), was condemned as a terrible sinner.

It seems to be proven today that masturbation is a) harmless, b) if it were harmful, then all men would be inferior to some extent, sick, because 96% of men know what masturbation is, firsthand. But somewhere in the subconscious, this is assessed as something dangerous, harmful, which may, if not immediately, then in the future, make itself felt.

And then a man comes to the doctor's office with some kind of temporary sexual failure (which anyone can have), and begins: "... oh, you know, this is probably because I masturbated in my youth." There is a deep conviction inside him that no matter what experts tell him and no matter what they write in books, what he did at the age of 15-17 will not get away with it so easily. All these myths, being essentially false stereotypes, are combined into a triune absurd complex about the so-called superman. This complex creates patients from normal men, and these myths are most often revived under adverse conditions of life, when a person finds himself in stressful situations, when he experiences strong emotional experiences.